Feedback

We got some very helpful feedback from our brainstorm presentation which we showed to our class. One piece we found particularly helpful was the problems of working with children. Because we want the short film to be creepy we would be in danger of scaring the child. Not only this but children often don't respond well to instruction and we would have to find a child who could act well in order for our piece to seem realistic. This is a good point which we have thought about a lot because although we know some children that could take part, they are quite young so could get scared from the actor playing the intruder. We also don't know any child actors so the children we would use might not be the best at acting.

Another piece of feedback we got was that there was nothing unexpected about the story. We were told that in order to make the plot more interesting we could include a twist such as the intruder being someone unexpected or the intruder not being caught. We liked this idea because it gives our piece something different and not like every other film about someone breaking into a house. It also means it is more intriguing for the audience as they want to find out what happens and whether the intruder returns so they will be left wanting more after the end of the short film.

After taking on board this advice we decided to change the plot. We decided there would be, rather than a child and mother, a woman writing a story. As she writes the story there will be flashes to what she is imagining in her head. For example if she is writing about someone being chased down a street we would insert a clip of that happening. These clips will tell her story. However, what the audience believes to be her imagination will in fact not be fiction and will be happening in real life. This is revealed to the audience at the end of our piece where the writer will pick up a newspaper the next day and see that her story really happened.

We want the story to be about a girl who is walking home when she notices she is being watched. The person watching her knows they have been seen so chases after her. She will try to escape by running into the woods and hiding but in the film you will see the 'stalker' walking up behind her and the screen will go to black. There will then be a scream so the audience knows she has been caught.

Our idea for the title is that the piece will be named after the story the woman is writing. This will also be the headline on the newspaper detailing what happened.

We got some inspiration from the film 'Bedtime Stories' where a father tells his children stories which come to life. We also got inspiration from the film 'Ruby Sparks' where a man writes about a female character he thinks will love him and he brings her to life.

The feedback we were given really helped us to further our idea and make it a more rounded story. This means we can now appeal more to our target audience as we are listening to what they have to say and using their ideas as to what would work well to move forward with our piece.